


Another Lover Hits The Universe

by loubutler



Category: Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (2018)
Genre: Fluff and Smut, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-16 03:55:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17542199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loubutler/pseuds/loubutler
Summary: “I just, I felt like I needed to see you,” Stefan says, running his hand through his hair.“I see,” Colin nods. “A decision outside of your own understanding?”“Like an itch I couldn’t scratch unless I saw you,” Stefan rubs his eyes. “It’s positively manic now that I say it aloud.”“It isn’t,” Colin says, sitting up and leaning towards Stefan. “It’s the universe.”“What?”“It’s the universe telling you where you should be.”





	Another Lover Hits The Universe

This version of Stefan hasn’t been inside Colin’s apartment. Colin can tell by the way Stefan keeps his jacket on, his arms crossed in front of his chest, shoulders slouched. He tries to make himself seem less intrusive in the room. Colin sits down on the couch and motions for Stefan to join him. Stefan takes off his coat and sets it by the door before complying.

“What did you want to talk about?” Colin asks, leaning back on the couch. Stefan is sitting on the edge, hands intertwined in his lap.

“Sorry?” Stefan responds, looking up at Colin.

“You called and asked to come over to talk,” Colin says slowly. “You’re here now, what did you want to talk about?”

“Oh, yes, I...” Stefan mumbles, running his fingers through his hair, “I just, I felt like I needed to see you,” he finishes.

“I see,” Colin nods. “A decision outside of your own understanding?”

“Like an itch I couldn’t scratch unless I saw you,” Stefan rubs his eyes. “It’s positively manic now that I say it aloud.”

“It isn’t,” Colin says, sitting up and leaning towards Stefan. “It’s the universe.”

“What?”

“It’s the universe telling you where you should be. It happens to me all the time.”

“And what does the universe tell you?”

“Lots if things.”

Stefan looks at him for the first time since sitting down. “What’s it telling you right now?” 

And, just like that, the path deviates, branching off again. But Colin is used to this, knowing we’re one choice, one question away from something completely different.

Colin is the one that leans in and kisses him. They’ve kissed before in other realities, are familiar with each other’s mouths and skin, but its still new and exciting the first time around.

When they pull apart Stefan’s eyes are wide as he searches Colin’s face, trying to find the answers in front of him.

“We’ve met before,” Stefan whispers. “You said that to me, when we first met, and then said you told me you’d see me around.”

“And I was right,” Colin finishes. “Do you see now?”

Stefan is still looking at him, hands pressed against Colin’s chest as he tries to connect the dots. “We’ve met before,” Stefan whispers again.

“Yes.”

“How many times?”

“Does it matter?”

Stefan takes his hands back, fingers twitching slightly. “I don’t like not knowing.” he says, breaking eye contact with Colin to look at the floor. “It makes me feel...”

“Out of control,” Colin says. “I know.”

 

“How do you know so much about me?” It’s not angry or accusatory, it’s wonder, almost awe. Colin smiles. 

“I’m very… acquainted with you,” Colin says, shifting back to look at Stefan in his fullness. The more the man tries to shrink into himself, wearing baggy sweatshirts and sweatpants, sitting with his head lowered and shoulders hunched in, the more he stands out in Colin’s eyes, like a mating call or a cry for help. “Look at me.”

Stefan looks up and fists his hand in his sweatshirt. Like he’s trying to keep himself tethered to his own body.

“We’ve met before,” Colin says. “And we will continue to meet. Because that itch you felt, I feel it too. The universe made us to be right where we are right now.”

He’s gone a bit too far. Stefan isn’t meeting his gaze anymore, fingers twitching as he runs his fingers through his hair. Colin sighs. 

“You always have a choice with me,” Colin says finally. “Always.”

“What do you mean?” Stefan asks. But his response is low, whispered, like he knows the answer but can’t admit it, not yet.

Colin doesn’t answer, instead shifts closer and grabs Stefan’s face with his hands. Then they’re kissing again, open mouths and touching tongues. Stefan’s hands are on Colin’s chest while Colin’s hands are in his hair, pulling just to hear the soft moan response he knows he’ll get. Stefan in every reality is manic, scattered, sporadic, but so damn predictable.

They pull back but Colin holds Stefan’s head close. He leans in and kisses Stefan’s cheek, his nose, his jaw, then his ear. He can feel Stefan’s breath on his skin, can feel how shallow and quick his breaths are. Colin reaches down, slowly, and cups Stefan’s erection in his hand. 

“Do you want me?” Colin whispers in his ear. It feels unfair, to remember all of Stefan’s quirks and edges while Stefan is in the dark, but what’s the use of remembering all the different paths if you can’t use them to your advantage.

“I want you,” Stefan whispers back, eyes closed as he arches into Colin’s touch. Colin shifts, lifting up his hand to Stefan’s cheek and turning Stefan’s face to look at him. He opens his eyes and Colin leans in so their lips are almost touching.

“You have me,” he whispers before leaning in fully and kissing him. 

For the quiet person he is, Stefan is not a quiet lover. The minute Colin has his mouth around his dick Stefan’s hands are latched in his bleached hair as he lets out a long moan. This is a familiar feeling, Stefan’s callused fingers and chewed nails touching his scalp while Colin is going down on him. This is the path most of their interactions lead to, if one of them isn’t dead or in jail before it can happen. Colin feels a sense of gratitude as he hears Stefan whispering “fuck oh fuck, Colin” that this is the path he currently exists on, this is the moment that he is honored enough to call his reality.

Stefan’s breathing gets faster and his grip gets tighter and Colin has done this all before but it still feels new. With a high pitched moan and an arched back Stefan is coming in Colin’s mouth. He swallows a bit before pulling away, sitting up slightly to reach across to the coffee table to grab a couple of tissues (which were not placed within arms reach by accident, he might add). Stefan’s eyes are closed as he releases Colin’s head from his grip, his arms falling to his sides. Colin shifts up a bit more, grabbing Stefan’s underwear and pulling it back up along with his sweatpants. He wants to touch himself, can feel his cock throbbing in his pants, but instead he sits back on the sofa, watching his lover catch his breath.

Before the ecstasy has subsided—Colin has memorized Stefan’s post orgasm rituals by this point, knows that he tries to collect himself much faster than he actually can—Stefan opens his eyes and reaches towards Colin’s pants with shaking hands. His breath is still quick, his pupils blown, his body is moving faster than his mind can hope to keep up with. He gets his hands on the outline of Colin’s erection before Colin stops him.

“Not today, mate,” he says calmly, taking Stefan’s hands in his. “But I do appreciate you thinking of me.”

Stefan looks up at him, eyes wide and mouth open. His breathing is still heavy, his hair sticking to his forehead. Colin wants nothing more than to guide Stefan’s pretty mouth to his dick, to watch as Stefan takes him like the champ he is. In one reality Colin can remember telling Stefan he had the mouth of a god. Colin can see Stefan’s blushing cheeks at the compliment, a bit of Colin’s cum on the side of his mouth. He wishes that were this timeline, this reality, that he could put his hands in Stefan’s hair and moan his name while he closes his eyes and sees the entire universe.

But it isn’t this timeline. Not yet, anyway.

“But, you’re,” Stefan motions to the bulge in Colin’s pants.

“Excited? It tends to happen when I’m with you,” Colin shifts to sit up and pushes Stefan back slightly. “But I know you, and I know you have a tendency to try to take on too much at once.”

“Your black and white thinking will get you killed.” Colin remembers saying it in one timeline or another (but the context escapes him). Stefan isn’t one to start slow. He lets everything envelop him completely and instantaneously. He decides what is expected of him and is always so fucking eager to please. 

But it’s Colin’s job to know the right and wrong paths, at least for now. The path where Stefan jumps into the giving seat moments after having his dick sucked for the first time doesn’t have a happy ending. For now, no matter how good it would be to find release, to have Stefan sit back after it was all over and ask “how was I?”, and to be able to kiss Stefan and give him the praise he desperately craves in every version of himself Colin can remember, he has to wait.

But he’s good at waiting. He has enough patience for the both of them.

The confused look on Stefan’s face now as he lowers his head is a small price to pay.

“Believe me, mate, it’s better,” Colin says, turning to the coffee table and grabbing the spliff from the ashtray. He won’t go into details, won’t explain the panic spiral sucking Colin’s dick sends Stefan down (which, when phrased that way, seems almost comical, like Colin has the power to drive someone mad with his genetalia. Sadly, it’s more of a mental break, the extremely logical panic of being gay in 1984) so he just lights up his spliff and takes a hit. He turns his head as to not blow the smoke directly in Stefan’s face before offering it to him.

Stefan looks at the joint and looks at Colin. The post orgasm glow is gone, quicker than normal, and Colin sighs.

“Just take the hit, mate. It’ll help,” because no matter how many paths Colin remembers, no matter how he tries to make things better, he can’t save Stefan from himself.

Stefan takes the joint and puts it to his lips. He’s better at it now, barely coughs as the smoke comes out of his mouth. Colin has to almost sit on his hands so he doesn’t touch himself through his pants. 

“Want to let me know what’s on your mind?” Colin says has he takes back the spliff. Stefan still isn’t looking at him, has turned and sat back on the couch, arms crossed across his chest.

“That was... I mean, that, it was,” but the words aren’t coming out right and Colin can see, can understand, Stefan’s brain is going faster than he can comprehend.

He needs to slow down.

Colin sets down the joint and sits up. Stefan is still trying to find the right words, is wringing his hands and pulling at his sleeves, and he’s going to start spiraling any moment.

Colin leans forward and kisses him. The way Stefan relaxes and leans forward tells Colin he’s made the right move. 

They kiss softly, closed mouths and deep breaths. Stefan doesn’t touch him, his hands staying at his sides, but Colin takes his time. caressing the sides of Stefan’s face, feeling his skin, his jaw, his hairline. Familiarizing himself with what he’s already committed to memory. 

“My first time,” Stefan says when they pull away. “What I was, trying to say, that was my,”

“I know,” Colin cuts him off. “You’re thinking too much, mate. You don’t need to have all the answers right now.”

“But you should know that...”

“I know,” Colin says again. Because he does. They’ve had this exact conversation before. Stefan is young, inexperienced, terrified. He doesn’t have to explain himself, even if he feels he must. “Don’t ruin the moment.”

So they sit in silence, passing the joint between each other. Stefan seems to be relaxing, his arms still at his sides and his eyes looking at the ceiling. Colin shifts so he’s leaning against the arm of the sofa, putting his legs across Stefan’s lap. Stefan looks down at them and tentatively puts his hands on Colin’s knees.

“How many times have we done this?” Stefan whispers.

“Hmm?” Colin’s eyes are closed, joint in his mouth. He’s focusing on the way Stefan’s hands feel, the light touches, like he’s tracing patterns.

“How many times have we, you know,” Stefan lets out a breath.

“Does it matter?” Colin asks.  
“Does it matter to you?”

The question catches Colin off guard and he opens his eyes. Stefan is looking down, staring at his hands on Colin’s jeans. “You always matter to me,” Colin says.

And in that moment, a rarity occurs; Colin sees Stefan smile.


End file.
